Bryan's Black Mountain Barbecue

By Klara Jacobs 

It’s finally winter break, time for Arizona; palm trees and sun here I come!  We walk through a rusty,"meant to look authentic", gate stating: ENTER in the color of red wine. I touch it and feel the sticky residue from the many hands smothered in barbecue sauce. I walk through, and something catches my eye: a saguaro cactus surrounded by a circular  brightly colored tile table paired with tall bar stools with hard wooden seats. We go into the restaurant to order, the smell shrouding my clouded senses due to a week-long cold. The smell of sweat and barbecue sauce; unfortunately, this describes the food that we will be served. A boy, about 18 years old, takes our order, clearly annoyed with my family's indecisive ordering. We are finally almost done! My mom orders “the Big Pig" (the restaurants special) and the waiter rings a giant triangle and you can hear the cooks in the back kitchen yelling and shouting in excitement. We finish ordering our meal and get our waters out of an automatic soda machine; then we walk outside again into the heat, and through the enter gate once more. The table is shaded and rough, made out of stone and covered in the same sticky substance as the gate that we entered through. The table is circular and has a centerpiece: a tin container, a few napkins and basic condiments such as ketchup, as well as "lemon-scented moist towelettes."

After waiting for a substantial amount of time, my mother and grandparents leave to get our food. They bring it out and I sigh...exactly what I expected.  The smell overwhelmed my clouded senses:  spicy, old jalapenos and a mixture of sweat and cheap barbeque sauce, hardly enjoyable.

The food (at least my order) consists of three ribs smothered in canyon red barbecue sauce laying on top of a small portion of chicken, and under this mess of meats is a small thin piece of white wonder bread. On the side, are two styrofoam containers: one with an immensely large portion of cooked beans, and in the other are seven large saggy jalapenos. I decided to start with the ribs. As I look at them, ready to start eating, I realize that their surface looks rather burnt, being the color of the night sky. My plastic silverware cannot be expected to penetrate the surface of these tough ribs. 

I take my plastic fork and tear into the tender meat of the ribs to take my first bite. There is a very substantial amount of fat that dissolves in my mouth, leaving me wanting more. Aside from the decent taste, the ribs are, unfortunately, very cold. After a few more bites, my taste buds collide with the spice of the chilled sauce, gradually getting spicier. 

"Stop eating my fries!" shouts my brother, as my wandering hand goes to grab another from his food tray. 

I return to scraping the small amount of meat off of my ribs. Tired of the ribs, I move onto the chicken. It tastes extremely bland and is the color of a white washed fence. 

"Have you eaten all of your fries?" asks my mom. 

"Klara's helping me," replies my brother. 

I refrain from eating the jalapenos and move onto the beans. I jab at them with my fork to penetrate the film of grease. I raise them to my mouth, take a bite, and quickly regret it. They taste of dirt and an array of spices. I refrain from taking another bite. Although the taste was not desirable, the portions are fairly large and in need of a to-go box. 

Looking back on the service, the staff did not even bring out the food, and we needed to walk up to order. We had to seat ourselves, and the tables were in desperate need of attention. The food came rather slow and it was annoying to have to go and get it. Although the service was poor, the atmosphere was very comfortable , casual, and welcoming. Along with the laidback family feeling, the scenery including a beautiful cactus was very nice. One suggestion that I have for the improvement of this restaurant is mainly to take their time. There was not a lot of business, which allows for the cooking staff to spend more time preparing the food. Also, it would be very beneficial to the restaurants popularity if they had a warm and welcoming staff that would seat you, take your order, and deliver your food. I ended up bringing the leftovers home and throwing them away three days later.

Due to the poor service, uncleanliness, and poor quality of food, I do not recommend this restaurant at all. I give this restaurant one out of five stars.